We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
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