the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
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