smell my finger.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
Randomize
