that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
sarcasm needs its own font
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
Randomize