I'm at some bar in brklyn... just made out with a guy named Owen.
He is a pre-school teacher... just sang me a song about weather.
I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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