I woke up this morning with "guy in polar bear j.crew boxers" written on my stomach along with a 5 digit phone number...
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
Come see our sink grown plant.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
Randomize
