dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
This is not my ceiling
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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