My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
as a side note pls kill me
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
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