what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Randomize
