If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
Randomize
