first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Randomize
