i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
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