Fuck appropriateness.
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
Randomize