I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
I accidentally told him I've been cheating on him with his brother last night.
How did that happen by accident?
I was drunk and vomited all over him and thought, "maybe he will just stay with me out of pity if I tell him with stomach acid and alcohol all over his crotch." I was wrong.
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Randomize
