Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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