so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
