bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
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