This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Randomize
