Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
Randomize
