Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
Randomize
