16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
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