Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Randomize
