So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Randomize
