the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize