If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
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