JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
Randomize
