its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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