last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
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