Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
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