why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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