Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
Randomize
