so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
