it was like his penis was on wheels.
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
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Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
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i need to put some appletini on your dick
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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