You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Randomize
