I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
