You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
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