i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Randomize
