addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
You took a bar mat shot.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
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