Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
21 Distraught People Found Out They Had An STD
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
21 Ladies Reveal The Sexiest Thing A Man Can Do In A Public Setting
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.