Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
10 Things Your Gyno Wants You To Stop Doing To Your Vagina
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
For Some Reason, Boys Are Singing The ‘Halo’ Theme Song In School Bathrooms
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.