I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.