don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
We are two peas in an std pod
then he tried to convert me to islam
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
Randomize
