I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
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