I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize
