why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
I forgot how hot balto sounded
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Randomize
