am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
