now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
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