..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
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