ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
