After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
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