the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
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