Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
Randomize
