fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Randomize
