I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Randomize
