remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Randomize