I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
i can't believe i had my finger in that
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Randomize
