By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
