Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
Randomize