Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
he had hair everywhere except his balls
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
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