I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
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