You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
Come back. Shots need mouths.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
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