i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
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