How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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