He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
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It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
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Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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