U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
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