call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
Pooping to opera.
Randomize
